|My friend. My enemy.|
I've been going a little crazy on the business side of life lately. My design business is picking up which is fantastic, but some of the other aspects in my life have been neglected a bit. I'm not a fan of that, but it just has to happen. Work has pretty much taken over this past month and it's been hard on my personal life as well as those around me...specifically my little guy.
I work from home so I'm always with him. Always. Seriously, I can't stress that enough. Always. I love being able to spend time with my son while he's still little enough to like me, but it gets really stressful at times. He's at that age where he wants constant attention and wants you to play with him or cuddle with him every waking moment. I love hanging out with him and cuddling while we watch Thomas the Tank Engine for the 100th time, but I also have a business to run and client work to take care of and phone calls to make, etc. Try explaining that to a 3 year old!
Yes, three. He'll be turning the big '3' on Saturday and I can't believe it. Where does the time go? More on that later...
Now back to the matter at hand...
I guess the point of my story is guilt. I have terrible mom guilt almost every day. I know I can't, nor should, spend every single minute playing with him and his trains, but it breaks my heart to tell him I can't because I have to work on a project or send an email. The funny part is that he'll play on his own if I'm doing dishes or cleaning up the house. It's just when I'm working that he's all about his mommy. Because of this, I do a lot of my work during the day before my husband leaves for work and then spend about 5-6 hours working after my son goes to sleep for the night. It's wreaking havoc on my sleep schedule. Plus, it's pretty difficult to call a client at 1 o'clock in the morning!
I think I'm just looking to not be alone in this whole guilty feeling. Are there others out there who struggle with the work/life/kid/husband balance? Does it even exist?